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Wednesday, October 6th 2004, 8:42pm

The United German Workers' Free Press

A Communique from the Kommunistische Partei Deutschlands

Guten tag, comrades!

I hope that the sun has risen to find you healthy and in fine revolutionary spirits. It has in my case, for I sit here at my typewriter to send word of progress throughout the world.

Here in Germany, of course, the party made much progress in the May elections. We took six percent of the seats, an increase of almost three times . Clearly the people of Germany are dis-illusioned with the status quo and seek change. Soon enough, we will give them that change. We will start with the presidential elections next year, and when the nation elects a progressive socialist president, our efforts will take flight.

Our Russian neighbours will soon be at the polls for their own election. It is really a very simple choice for the people of Russia: they can throw away their futures by voting for the capitalist Ryabushinsky , waste their votes on the foppish Miliukov or ineffective Martov, or they can do the sensible thing and vote for V.I. Lenin, a working man and friend to socialists everywhere . I have had the pleasure of meeting him myself, in Switzerland during the war, and I must say that I was struck by his vision of an empowered Russian working class. He truly has the interests of the worker at heard. Go, Lenin!

Now, if you ever doubted that revolution is needed, you need look no further than the sordid mess in Asia to see your doubts quashed. On one side, you have an autocratic monarchy, plowing through international law like some drunken elephant , and on the other side, you have a monarchy whose corrupt generals and industrialists sell weapons to whomever can afford the price. The result, of course, is thousands and thousands of bewildered orphans and stunned widows, all wondering why they are paying the price for the sins of others as they attempt to piece their lives together again. Even the Danish people are paying the price - their blood has been spilt because of their past government’s asinine treaty-making. Treaty obligations mean mass slaughter , my friends! They are an instrument of the warmongering profiteers of the capitalist class .

Now, it must be noted that we support the Concerned Citizen’s Coalition in India, for they seek democracy and empowerment. This cause is inconsistent with random murder , and so we can only conclude that the violence in Chittagong is staged strictly out of the despot’s desire to oppress the people. As for the fools in Bangkok: be thankful you don’t share a land border with the Indian elephant. Learn your lesson and don’t be duped into helping the despot oppress the people.

It amuses us that the imperialist governments of Europe now quake in fear because the despot and his cronies signed a treaty in Japan. Imperialism and gunboat diplomacy is all well and good for the elitists until the locals decide to play the game, then look out! World peace is threatened, we’re sending our navy over to keep an eye on you, blah-blah-blah-blah-BLAH ! Is the world really going to be threatened by an absolute monarchy, a nation whose elite aviators can’t navigate, and a nation whose navy loses vessels on an almost weekly basis? We think not. Concentrate on matters at hand - universal health care, workers’ rights, and the class struggle .

Comrades, I shall end here, for I have run out of red ink, but remember: the revolution is coming. Rejoice!




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Wednesday, October 6th 2004, 9:13pm

Another great piece, J.
Indeed, it is all about being a "drunken elephant", having "corrupt generals", or use "gunboat diplomacy".
^_^

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Wednesday, October 6th 2004, 10:38pm

Quoted

a nation whose navy loses vessels on an almost weekly basis


Neither El Presidente or the Vice-Admiral are very much amused by the "socialist pigs" behind this propaganda, and have ordered FINK's Section 31 to look into matters...

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Thursday, October 7th 2004, 5:51am

Very impressive peice Rocky, looks like Lenin has some foreign support!

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Thursday, October 7th 2004, 3:47pm

Perhaps the KPD will book a ship/train and head east to support Comrade Lenin in his campaigning. I'm sure that would go over well.

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Thursday, October 7th 2004, 4:06pm

Quoted

Neither El Presidente or the Vice-Admiral are very much amused by the "socialist pigs" behind this propaganda, and have ordered FINK's Section 31 to look into matters...

Perhaps it is necessary to give him a Tokugawa-style haircut. :-)

7

Thursday, October 7th 2004, 4:21pm

Quoted

Perhaps the KPD will book a ship/train and head east to support Comrade Lenin in his campaigning. I'm sure that would go over well.

*starts loading lead in the airship...*

Quoted

Perhaps it is necessary to give him a Tokugawa-style haircut. :-)

Perhaps. ;) We also have a hefty line of credit with ACME...

HoOmAn

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8

Friday, October 8th 2004, 12:46am

Great piece!

Keep it coming - just not my way! ;o)

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Friday, October 8th 2004, 2:50pm

I'm profoundly disappointed that South Africa does not wish to have a boat-load of frenzied communist agitators arrive in Cape Town. Where's your sense of adventure?

HoOmAn

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10

Friday, October 8th 2004, 5:05pm

I send them your way...eh.... to India, I mean.... ;o)